Why I Haven’t Gone to Counselling (Yet)
Many of us know that counselling can help—but taking that first step isn't always easy. In this personal reflection, I explore the real reasons I’ve hesitated to seek therapy, from stigma and cost to fear and cultural expectations. If you've ever found yourself avoiding counselling and wondered why, this post might speak to you.
MENTAL HEALTH
Garry Ebrey. Diploma Counselling. Accredited Counsellor.
6/21/20254 min read


Why People Don’t Get Counselling: Understanding the Barriers to Mental Health Support
Despite increased awareness about the importance of mental health, many people still hesitate to seek counselling. Counselling has proven benefits for emotional well-being, stress management, and personal growth. Yet, a large number of individuals either delay getting help or avoid it entirely.
Understanding why people do not seek counselling is essential if we want to reduce suffering and create a culture that encourages mental wellness. In this article, we will explore some of the most common reasons people avoid counselling and what can be done to break down these barriers.
1. The Stigma Around Mental Health
Stigma remains one of the most powerful reasons people stay away from counselling. Even in progressive communities, the idea of seeing a therapist can carry negative associations. Some people believe that asking for help means admitting weakness or failure. They may feel embarrassed or fear being judged by others.
This fear can be especially strong in workplaces, schools, or social groups where people are expected to appear strong, successful, and in control. For men, this pressure is often amplified by societal expectations around masculinity.
What Can Help
We need to normalize mental health struggles just like we do with physical health. Public education campaigns, personal storytelling, and open discussions can help dismantle the stigma. When people hear that it is okay to struggle and that therapy is a form of strength, they are more likely to consider it as a real option.
2. Cost and Accessibility
For many, counselling is simply too expensive. Without insurance or financial support, a single session can cost anywhere from $80 to $200 or more. Even those with insurance may face limitations on coverage or be forced to use providers with long waiting lists.
Accessibility is also a problem in rural or underserved areas. There may be few or no therapists nearby, and wait times can stretch for weeks or months. People with demanding jobs or caregiving responsibilities may struggle to find time for regular sessions.
What Can Help
More widespread access to affordable and flexible mental health care is needed. Sliding scale services, online therapy platforms, and mental health coverage through government programs or insurance can help lower the barrier for those who need it most.
3. Lack of Awareness or Understanding
Some people do not realize they could benefit from counselling. They may think therapy is only for extreme cases or believe they should be able to handle things on their own. Others may not understand how counselling works and fear it will not be helpful.
There are also myths that therapy is only about talking with no practical outcome, or that you need to be in crisis to see a therapist. These misconceptions keep many people from exploring what counselling could offer them.
What Can Help
Education plays a huge role here. If more people understand what therapy actually involves—goal setting, skill-building, emotional support—they may be more willing to try it. Promoting accurate, simple information about how therapy works and who it is for can open new doors for those who are unsure.
4. Cultural and Religious Beliefs
In some cultures and religious communities, seeking help outside the family or faith group is discouraged. People may be taught to keep personal issues private or believe that suffering is something to be endured in silence. Others may turn only to spiritual or traditional healing practices and view professional counselling as unnecessary or inappropriate.
There is also the fear that therapy might not respect cultural or religious values, making people feel misunderstood or alienated.
What Can Help
Culturally competent care is essential. Mental health professionals who understand and respect different traditions can help build trust and bridge the gap. Involving community leaders and faith-based organizations in mental health education can also help reduce resistance and increase openness to seeking support.
5. Fear of Vulnerability
Talking about personal pain is not easy. Many people are afraid to open up, especially if they have been hurt or dismissed in the past. Counselling requires a level of honesty and vulnerability that can feel uncomfortable or even threatening.
Some may worry about being judged or fear what they might discover about themselves during the process. Others may feel they need to keep a strong front for the sake of their family, job, or community.
What Can Help
Therapy is a space that is built on safety, respect, and confidentiality. When people understand that they are not expected to reveal everything all at once, they may feel more at ease. Starting with one conversation can be the first step toward healing. Therapists are trained to move at the client’s pace and to help them feel supported, not exposed.
6. Belief That Therapy Will Not Help
There are people who doubt the effectiveness of therapy. Some have had negative experiences in the past, while others believe that talking will not solve real-world problems. They may see counselling as passive or think it only helps certain types of people.
In times of crisis, some people want practical help right away and believe counselling is too slow or indirect. Others may have a deep sense of hopelessness that makes them believe nothing can help them feel better.
What Can Help
It is important to communicate that therapy is not just about talking. It involves practical tools, emotional insights, and strategies to help people manage stress, set boundaries, and improve relationships. Sharing positive stories of people who have benefited from therapy can also help break down this mental block.
Final Thoughts
There are many reasons why people do not seek counselling. Whether it is stigma, cost, cultural beliefs, fear, or doubt, each barrier is real and deeply personal. At the same time, every one of these barriers can be addressed through awareness, compassion, and action.
Mental health support should be a right, not a luxury. If we want to create a healthier, more supportive world, we must continue to challenge the myths and structures that keep people from getting the help they deserve.
If you are considering counselling but feel unsure, know that you are not alone. Taking the first step can be the hardest part, but it may also be the most rewarding. You do not have to wait for a crisis to ask for support. Therapy can be a valuable part of personal growth, healing, and living a more balanced life.
Need Help Finding Support?
There are many resources available online to help you find a counsellor who fits your needs. Whether in person or online, affordable or specialized, support is closer than you think. Your mental health matters, and reaching out is always a step forward.
Contact Me
Whether you're seeking support for yourself, your relationship, or your family, I'm here to help. Your well-being is important to me, and I'm committed to providing you with a safe and confidential space to explore your thoughts and feelings.
I’m here when you’re ready. I always reply to your messages because I understand the importance of feeling heard and supported from the very first step. You won’t be left waiting or wondering—I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.


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